The Naked Truth About Stupid Laws And Wiping Your Hands.

First, a little news.  Now there is a whole continuum of people on the climate change issue.  On one side you have those who say that it is all human’s fault and we are all gonna die any minute now.  On the other side, we have those saying it’s all hogwash so keep driving that Hummer, baby!

On the side of those folks I last mentioned, it seems some of them are legislators in the state of North Carolina.  Most scientists agree that, due to the ice caps melting, there will be a rise in sea level.  In North Carolina, that may soon be against the law, at least measuring it will be.  So, if the ocean rises the meter or so that science says it might, then the North Carolina State Police are going to go down to the shore and arrest it?  Here’s an article on the whole thing. May the Goddess help us!

Now that we have that out of the way, here’s a tip for all of you who like to cook naked.

Wear an apron.

That’s right, cover those naughty bits while you’re making that vegan pizza!  There are several reasons why this is a good idea.  I’ll just give you a few.

First, it protects those naughty bits. (I really need to stop calling them that since I don’t really consider them naughty.)  You don’t want tender flesh being scalded, macerated, frozen, sliced, diced, or otherwise abused.  Besides, even if you are an out there bold naturist, how do you explain it to the paramedics.

“Yes sir, I cut off my penis in the blender.”

Not something I want to say!  It would make for a good story for those guys to tell, however.  I was an EMT for a while and always appreciated a good story.

Second, the people eating your food will appreciate it.

“There’s a hair in my soup.  And why is it so curly?”

Okay, I think you get the picture, and it probably isn’t pleasant.  I suppose you could make a case for dipping a nipple, or some other appendage, into your sauce to see if it is the right temperature, but it’s probably best to just use a finger.

The last one I’ll mention, you might not think too important.  It has to do with where you wipe your hands.

If you are like me, cooking is a messy business.  You need somewhere to wipe your hands.  If you are naked, you can wipe them on your thigh, belly, butt cheeks, or other places, but then the whole sanitary issue comes up again.  Also, those areas of your skin are not the most absorbent and so your hands just wind up being about as messy as they were.   Besides, who wants avocado sauce wiped down your thigh?

If you wear an apron, you have somewhere to wipe your hands.  My apron has a pocket which always has a paper towel in it.  Even if yours doesn’t, at least you can wipe your hands on the apron.  Do everyone a favor and wear an apron!

Okay, that’s it for today.  Leave a comment and tell me about stupid laws or where you wipe your hands,  Wait, did that come out right?  Well, you know what I mean!


This entry was posted in Naturist/Nudist, Vegan and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to The Naked Truth About Stupid Laws And Wiping Your Hands.

  1. Pingback: Three Reasons A Vegan Naturist Likes Being Home « Vegannakedpagan

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